A true coronary delight
Here’s a fun new way to die: Take a food item that is possibly the greasiest, unhealthiest entree ever developed by the human species, shrink it an inch or two, and multiply by six. Then head down to one of your favorite chain restaurants, like Cheesecake Factory or Applebees, and PRETEND IT’S AN APPETIZER.
But why stop there? After the “Six Slider Starter,” chase it down with 20 ozs of Budweiser Lime, and proceed straight to your entree: a hamburger (which is sorta like ordering the rosemary chicken and asking the waiter to bring a half dozen baby ducks to snack on while you wait.)
And you’ve gotta love the nickname “sliders.” I take it that means we’re not even supposed to chew them. Just open wide and let ‘em slide! (Hold a moment, please. I should probably go copyright that.)
Hey Dave,
Where’s the picture from? Those look delicious.
Frank
I’m so glad you understood my point.
I think that picture is from the autopsy of a really fat guy.
@Dave
You’re the kind of idiot that would think they are getting a deal if pizza makers said “Now with more slices!”
All I see is a quartered hamburger. Go find some other loosely vialed way to make fun of fat people to distract yourself from the fact that you’re just as screwed in a dozen other ways. While you make a ham fisted stab at that advertising dollar.
@Frank
Ditto they look yummy, but I guess since they are tiny I’m going to be irresistibly compelled to eat 400 of them. *rolls eyes*
@brandon
thats exactly the point genius! yeah, so they are only eating an entire burger total.. but its NOT the meal, its a snack or appetizer. People now think that its ok to eat a whole burger before getting their actual meal.
PLUS how can you control how much you are eating when you dont truly realize how much you are eating?
having eaten six small ‘sliders’sounds more harmless than eating an entire burger. you’re comparing a snack to a meal, when, LIKE YOU SAID, you are still eating the same thing. You are not supposed to have meal sized snack before eating a meal. Its simply unhealthy.
Sherri, thanks for the Brandon rebuttal. I was trying restrain myself from saying anything snippy since he was kind enough to visit my blog (and call me an idiot) but he wasn’t getting my point.
Kind of a silly argument, though. Eating a whole plate full of sliders is no doubt unhealthy, but then so is eating a whole plate of any appetizer. You really think that whole fried onion is meant for one person? How about that big bowl of cheese dip and a whole baguette, is that a one person meal? No, appetizers (in the U.S., at least) are designed to be eaten by a whole table of people. This doesn’t mean many people won’t eat a whole plate of them all alone, but these people make poor health choices daily in many respects. If restaurants weren’t making sliders, these patrons would still be ordering something you don’t approve of. Your argument is like saying a box of cereal invites you to eat the whole thing in one go. No, it doesn’t, you are always in control of how much you consume. A slider is a tiny hamburger. If anything, their size makes it easier to eat less, in that you can eat one and feel satisfied, and not want to start another when you’re not hungry, instead of a giant burger you feel inclined to finish because it’s only one and you haven’t even finished it yet.
Besides, burgers get a bad wrap, they aren’t the worst food you can eat. What do you think these people are doing to the burgers when you aren’t looking? We’ve got bread, meat, cheese, some veggies, mayo, mustard, etc. Are they sneaking in a cup of lard when our backs are turned? Burgers only seem unhealthy because they’re ubiquitous and their nutrition info is highly publicized. Have you ever seen the nutrition info on lasagna? A taco? Steak and a baked potato? A ceasar salad? How about rice and stir-fried veggies? They all have amazing caloric content, check for yourself. All this attention on burgers makes people think it’s ok to gorge themselves on everything else. It’s not. Everything in moderation.
Sorry for the rant, all these food double standards get under my skin. They cloud the real issue, which is that we all need to be making healthier decisions in our eating habits instead of criminalizing certain foods at the expense of a broader understanding of nutrition in general.
Hillery, I actually agree with many of your points. Keep in mind, mostly I”m just tryin’to be funny
But I dont think people feel all satisfied after one slider.
But very wise point about ceasar salad etc… I will have to do a whole blog entry on “salads” and how that term deludes people into thinking they’re eating healthy even if its a 1500 calorie chicken ceasar salad.
I’m pleased I didn’t tick you off. It was a funny post, I just go on tangents sometimes.