Grade: 
Puggles: The Twinkie of the dog world
The cuteness must end.
Look, I know . They’re snuggly, they’re soft, they’re affectionate — they say hilarious things on greeting cards.
But these man-made hybrids of Pugs and Beagles are soulless, genetically-modified pseudo-animals and they must be stopped. I don’t like human tampering in my tomatoes and I don’t like it in my puppies.
Plus, I saw Terminator 2. I know how this scenario plays out. Fifty years from now Puggles will rise up and overthrow the human race. They will develop the ability to morph their paws into swords, impersonate law enforcement officers, and drive around the Southwestern United States on motorcycles stabbing us through the eye.
So why must we risk the future of humanity because grandma thinks Malteses are too yappy?
Oh, and don’t get the idea that I’m just picking on Puggles. This applies to all new-fangled hybrid dog breeds: Spitz-chows, Poinsetters, Collapsos. And especially any breed that ends in “poo.”
Somewhere there’s a brilliant scientist who decided not to work on the AIDS vaccine so he could devote his time to figuring out how to meld a Yorkie with a Springer Spaniel (a “Sporkie”?). Nice job, fellas. Way to work that PhD.
(For those keeping track: on the Historical Importance Invention Scale, Puggles fall somewhere between seedless watermelon and Funions.)
I must agree with this post completely. Puggles do fall somewhere between seedless watermelon and funions. Which is to say the second most overlooked innovation by Nobel Prize Committee. Let me join the growing chorus of economists and scientists, including Secretary of Energy Steven Chu and Paul Rubens, demanding the recognition of these most important of inventions.
and lets not forget about the other hybrid-dogs that will one day rise against us:
Shitzu + Bulldog = Bullshitz
Terrier + Bulldog = Terribull
and lets not forget about the latest holiday sensation, the Pointer + Irish Setter = Poinsetter
Todd, Once they splice a Puggle with a Funion, then it’s time to consider a Nobel Prize, I think.
Jayson, when will it end? Will they start breeding hybrids with hybrids? The Terribullshitz?