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Puggles: The Twinkie of the dog world
The cuteness must end.
Look, I know . They’re snuggly, they’re soft, they’re affectionate — they say hilarious things on greeting cards.
But these man-made hybrids of Pugs and Beagles are soulless, genetically-modified pseudo-animals and they must be stopped. I don’t like human tampering in my tomatoes and I don’t like it in my puppies.
Plus, I saw Terminator 2. I know how this scenario plays out. Fifty years from now Puggles will rise up and overthrow the human race. They will develop the ability to morph their paws into swords, impersonate law enforcement officers, and drive around the Southwestern United States on motorcycles stabbing us through the eye.
So why must we risk the future of humanity because grandma thinks Malteses are too yappy?
Oh, and don’t get the idea that I’m just picking on Puggles. This applies to all new-fangled hybrid dog breeds: Spitz-chows, Poinsetters, Collapsos. And especially any breed that ends in “poo.”
Somewhere there’s a brilliant scientist who decided not to work on the AIDS vaccine so he could devote his time to figuring out how to meld a Yorkie with a Springer Spaniel (a “Sporkie”?). Nice job, fellas. Way to work that PhD.
(For those keeping track: on the Historical Importance Invention Scale, Puggles fall somewhere between seedless watermelon and Funions.)
I must agree with this post completely. Puggles do fall somewhere between seedless watermelon and funions. Which is to say the second most overlooked innovation by Nobel Prize Committee. Let me join the growing chorus of economists and scientists, including Secretary of Energy Steven Chu and Paul Rubens, demanding the recognition of these most important of inventions.
and lets not forget about the other hybrid-dogs that will one day rise against us:
Shitzu + Bulldog = Bullshitz
Terrier + Bulldog = Terribull
and lets not forget about the latest holiday sensation, the Pointer + Irish Setter = Poinsetter
Todd, Once they splice a Puggle with a Funion, then it’s time to consider a Nobel Prize, I think.
Jayson, when will it end? Will they start breeding hybrids with hybrids? The Terribullshitz?
I so agree…not! This post is too dramatic for my liking, didn’t even finish reading it! Puggles are just dogs, so what if they’re hybrid? Pssshhh…Puggles taking over the world, talk about being dramatic!
You are right, Sara. I’m way too dramatic. That has been the main criticism of this blog. Why must I take everything so seriously???
I have a puggle and i love her.
I would argue the opposite. Pure-bred dogs are probably more “messed with” and genetically controlled than these cross breeds. They are probably closer to the real natural deal, which would be all mutts if we just let them all run wild and mate with one another crossing breeds and all.
Oh gosh – what a find this blog is – people of my ilk – with the exception of Sara
While I have to admit, I’ve only met one obnoxious puggle; I’d be remiss if I didn’t note my aversion to the designer mutt group I find genetically screwed … ‘doodles’. Since in America we’ve essentially destroyed Goldens – breeding them with standard poodles … pity the poodles.
Being the proud guardian of 3 amazing German Shorthaired Pointers and a terrier mix, I haven’t met or even heard of the “Pointsetters”. But it could be worse…i.e. pointoodles! Ohhh, I’m getting nauseous!
Pitty the thought!
I think we should concentrate on breeding healthy dogs and work to extend their mortality in lieu of trendy, sick dogs! Every breed is hardwired for a specific purpose, and those unfortunate dogs who are unable to pursue their instinctual drives conveys a sad depiction of one’s canine parentage/guardianship.
Great post!