MY GRADE: 
Tipoff that a guy is quirky: when he poses with a python to make himself seem more "grounded."
1982-2005: Loved the phrase “Wacko Jacko.” It was like a clever punctuation mark to another juicy story: “Wacko Jacko caught sleeping in an oxygen chamber.” “Wacko Jacko purchases the bones of Freddy Mercury… before he dies.” “Wacko Jacko buys all the Beatles songs and turns them into Michael Bay movies.”
But 2005-present day, post-child molestation charges, post-tragic death: “Wacko Jacko” not as much fun. Actually seems a little mean.
But the nickname itself is so catchy and lively, so enjoyable to say — it seems a shame to just throw out the baby with the bathwater. So I propose we deem another famous person “Wacko Jacko” and just run with it! Here are some potential candidates:
Political Lobbyist, con man, and defrauder of Native Americans, Jack Abramoff:
PLUS: “Wacko Jacko” is a pretty sexy “prison bitch” name.
MINUS: Too cutesy for him. Let’s just stick with “douchebag.”
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Lee Harvey Oswald Assassin, Jack Ruby:
PLUS: Well, technically, what he did was somewhat “wacky.”
MINUS: Might actually work better if we gave him MJ’s other nickname “King of Pop.”
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Wacko Jacko wipes off his brushes and sells it for $17 million
Artist Jackson Pollock
PLUS: I believe he actually signed a few early paintings “Wacko Jacko.” Maybe he was onto something.
MINUS: If he’s going to get a new nickname, I would go with “Sir Drippy.”
So really that leaves us with my longshot pick. A man who’s somewhat new on the scene, who exudes so much class and respect that it makes it nearly impossible to mock him. A man who’s press coverage could use a shot of levity. Ladies and gentleman, I give you our new “Wacko Jacko”:
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President Wacko Hussein Jacko?
President Wacko Hussein Jacko?
