MY GRADE: 
“…We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Oh, and free drink refills…”
– The Declaration of Independence (1st draft)
Remember the barbaric days of the 1970′s and 80′s when you’d order a Coke at a restaurant (or a Tab if you were really rockin’the 70′s) and if you asked for another Coke it was considered another Coke??? When the term “bottomless cup of coffee” was a rare and beautiful thing, a beacon in the ocean of unrefillable beverages. (I never liked the term “bottomless cup of coffee” — it always conjured the image of a 200 lb Denny’s waitress named Rhonda serving me coffee without pants.)
No more. Somewhere in the early to mid-90′s it became official: it is our right as a sovereign nation to unlimited drink refills at all major restaurant chains. Nowadays “soda” is like “fish” — the word implies both the singular and the plural. So keep ‘em coming! And while you’re at it, bring me another fish!
Now, I’m not certain whether this phenomenon is a good thing or a bad thing. After all, I don’t know if you’ve heard but some of these soft drinks have a bit of sugar in them. Like enough to frost the roof of a life-sized gingerbread house.
On the other hand, it’s FREE. And free is always good. Whether it be “Free Mandela” or my “Free to Be You and Me” or, most delightfully, free samples of Canadian Brie at Trader Joe’s. (And by the way, Canada, it’s not great. Sorry. “A” for effort though!)
It used to be a startling scientific fact that human beings are made up of 70% water. But since the emergence of free drink refills the percentages have changed. It now breaks down to something closer to this:
53% water
7% Smartwater
5% Diet Coke
2% Arnold Palmer
1% Mr. Pibb
1% unidentifiable fluid (probably Zima)
1% hot fudge
