Our Annoying World

MY GRADE:

Airborne, you are the perfect example of how not to market a product to me. First of all, take something I’m concerned about — getting sick — and turn it into a wacky Mad Magazine style cartoon.

Then, to prove you’re on the cutting edge, list where I can use your product and make sure to use terminology that’s 20 years outdated (I can take it at “health clubs”? Oh good, I’d hate to get sick at my Jazzercize class and miss my Thompson Twins concert)

And most importantly, really sell me on it’s credibility by announcing that it was “Created by a schoolteacher!”

This amazing fact is supposed to encourage me to have faith in your product?

Because I guess we’re all sick of actual scientists developing our medications? Scientists with their annoyingly science-y lab coats, their show-offy science degrees, and their so called “research?”

Screw that. I think Mrs. Giancola, my 2nd grade Social Studies teacher, is the one who’s most qualified to rid the world of illness.

And coming soon from makers of Airborne, a handful of great new products:

• CRAPICOL – the industrial strength laxative invented by a guy who works at the airport.

• SWINE-BE-GONE: A new swine flu vaccine invented by Ruby, a really nice waitress at TGI-Fridays.

• SCREECH-BELTS!: A new improved car safety device designed by that guy who played Screech on Saved By the Bell.

• MYSTERY-LOAF: a new lunchmeat, conceived by that guy who stands near the off-ramp of the 10 freeway with a sign that reads “Need money for beer”

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 30th, 2009 at 9:00 pm and is filed under Media Ridiculousness. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.