Our Annoying World

MY GRADE:

There’s no product on the market more mystifying to me than 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner. Why?

Well, up until a few years ago we all seemed to agree collectively as a nation that you shampooed and then conditioned.  The shampoo cleans your hair and the conditioner — er — conditions?  softens?  unshampoos? — er, I don’t know — but that’s a whole other discussion.

(Historical Footnote: In the late 20th century it was decided that shampooing alone wasn’t good enough.  In the early 20th century it was decided that washing your head with a bar of animal lard wasn’t good enough.  In the late 19th century it was decided that you needed to wash your hair.  In the 1400s it was decided that you needed to put down that battle axe and clean yourself every once and awhile.  Ah, progress.  Anyway, I already did my take on Historical Hygiene so I’ll move on.)

Somewhat more recently certain hair care companies have re-assessed and determined that now we have the technology: We can shampoo and condition at the same time!

Really?  Isn’t that kind of like inventing candy-flavored dental floss?  It decays and cleans your teeth simultaneously?  What’s the scientific principle behind Shampoo/conditioner: “put them in the same bottle and let ‘em fight it out”?

Ever the optimist, I tried 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner.

Guess what?  It doesn’t work.

My hair had the texture and consistency of a wild alpaca that had been through a torrential dust storm.

Which leads me to my real topic: I don’t get the concept of selling a product that doesn’t work.  But they’re out there.  Everywhere.  I was at the Apple Store last week.  I saw two gadgets that claim to pick up radio reception for your iPod.  One was $90.  One was $25 dollars.

I asked the salesman what was the difference between the two.  He replied “Well, the cheaper one doesn’t really work.”

Oh.  Interesting.  Good to know.  Maybe they should just print it on the box: “This product doesn’t work.”

I’m at Petco the other day.  It was the Apple Store all over again (although, to be honest, The Apple Store smells better).  There’s a brand of flea medication that costs $5 a dose and another that costs $15 a dose.  The difference?  The $5 one doesn’t prevent fleas.

Oh.

Well, at least I’m saving $10.  So that’s good.

I’m a firm believer in the old adage “You get what you pay for.”  What troubles me though is when you pay and get nothing.

So why do these products stay on the shelf.  Well,  because they’re on the shelf so they must have some merit, right?  Of course.  Otherwise, why else would they be there?  Thus — someone is going to buy it.

Capitalism is great, isn’t it?