MY GRADE: 
Tasty and Refreshing. With just a hint of... um... ???
(NOTE: When I speak of Dr. Pepper I am referring to Mr. Pibb too. Because to me Mr. Pibb is basically Dr. Pepper without the doctorate)
Soft drink companies have never been completely comfortable with owning up to what their products are: a 100% artificial concoction.
So in order to imply that their fizzy beverages are plucked directly from nature, commercials for 7-UP and Sprite and Sunkist and Welch’s Grape soda bombard us with earthy, agrarian imagery: a lime tree, a waterfall, cascading lemons, a man in a panama hat and white suit, two limes waterskiing, a lemon saving the rainforest, two oranges helping Brian Wilson compose “Good Vibrations” while his psychiatrist looks on, two Frenchmen stomping grapes directly into a soda can at a lush French Vineyard.
Even Coke and Pepsi cling to some far-fetched notion that their product is a crisply refreshing natural substance by having all forms of arctic creatures guzzle down 12 ounces of their carmelly delicious brew.
Dr. Pepper’s commercials, on the other hand, have always been honest. Irritating but honest:
I’m convinced some kind of mad genius created Dr. Pepper:
“I have an idea for a new soda.”
“Is it onion? We’ve tried that already. Shockingly, it was kind of unpleasant.”
“No. My inspiration is neither fruit nor vegetable nor root of beer. I’m not interested in creating some kind of faux-fruity concoction. I’m going for more of a generic, nondescript sugary taste. As if you took twenty Pixie sticks, mixed in a half a pound of Juju-bees and then liquified it. With kind of an ass-y aftertaste.”
“Ooooh. Sounds refreshing. Count me in!”
And the world hasn’t looked back since.
So consider me a Dr. Pepper fan. Because in its refusal to create even the slightest pretense that it is anything but 13 varieties of sugar and sweetener and corn syrup blended together, Dr. Pepper is the world’s only “honest” soft drink.
I grew up in Montreal. As kids, we used to laugh to no end at these bozos gleefully singing “I’m a Pepper”.
You see, in Quebec, a “Pepper” is a deragatory term for someone who’s French.
And when you’re 10 years old….well, you can only imagine how hilarious we found this ad!
That’s funny. I plan to call someone a “Pepper” as soon as possible.