MY GRADE: 
Little question for you…
Why are girl scouts still selling those awful cookies? Are they trying to collectively knock us off as a nation? It’s certainly possible. If you take a look at the side of any box of their cookies you may start to see some validity to my theory: Read the rest of this entry »
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Posted by David
MY GRADE:
It’s amazing to me how the concept of “food” varies so drastically from one culture to the next.
As Socrates once blogged “One country’s insect infestation is another country’s feast.” (And by “Socrates” I mean “me”)
Some of us look at a bull’s penis and think “Wow, that is a large penis. I better stay away from that. ” Others, in Taiwan, for instance, look at it and think Man, I’m gettin’hungry.
(And still others look at a bull’s penis and think “Hey, great blog topic!”) Read the rest of this entry »
3 Comments | Food & Food-esque substances | Tagged: bull's penis, poi, raw food, vegemite | Permalink
Posted by David
MY GRADE:
An interesting aspect of the “healthy fast food” phenomenon is the proliferation of salsa bars. God only knows why we’re so smitten. If someone had told me 20 years ago that I would choose one restaurant over another because they allowed me an unlimited supply of free condiments to take home in tiny plastic cups I wouldn’t have believed them. But I guess, when it comes down to it, free salsa is like a Happy Meal for adults. Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | Food & Food-esque substances | Tagged: baja fresh, free salsa, pico de gallo, salsa | Permalink
Posted by David
I need to interrupt my thrice-weekly hilarious satirical commentary to shed some light on a newly-raging social dilemma – Chuck E Cheese-related crime.
Here are the facts: Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | Food & Food-esque substances, Silly Trends and Proclivities | Tagged: bad pizza, chuck e cheese, chuck e cheese brawl, fast food crime | Permalink
Posted by David
MY GRADE: 
As I dialed past Sarah Palin on her 39th talk show appearance of the day (plugging her new book The Palin Vampire Diaries) I couldn’t help but develop an appreciation for those in the past who have taken the less-is-more approach to product hawking.
Of course, I’m talking about the McRib. Read the rest of this entry »
1 Comment | Food & Food-esque substances | Tagged: 1981 pop culture, mcdonalds, mcrib, mcrib for a limited time, sarah palin | Permalink
Posted by David
MY GRADE: 
Tasty and Refreshing. With just a hint of... um... ???
(NOTE: When I speak of Dr. Pepper I am referring to Mr. Pibb too. Because to me Mr. Pibb is basically Dr. Pepper without the doctorate)
Soft drink companies have never been completely comfortable with owning up to what their products are: a 100% artificial concoction. Read the rest of this entry »
2 Comments | Food & Food-esque substances | Tagged: 7-up, Artificial yumminess, coke, Dr. Pepper, pepsi, soft drinks | Permalink
Posted by David
MY GRADE:
I dread going to the supermarket.
Why?
Well, here’s just a mini sample-size of my supermarket issues:
Things I don’t understand about modern food: Read the rest of this entry »
4 Comments | Food & Food-esque substances, Technology Out Of Control | Tagged: grapple, organic food, processed foods, spelling of hummus, spray-on salad dressing, supermarkets | Permalink
Posted by David
MY GRADE:
Something has gone terribly wrong.
When I was a kid I used to drink from a hose in the backyard. Now I won’t drink Arrowhead water because they don’t use the reverse osmosis process, they merely deionize. (And the last thing I want in my water are ions! Uch. Can you imagine, all the ions I foolishly ingested in my childhood?) Read the rest of this entry »
7 Comments | Food & Food-esque substances | Tagged: arrowhead water, bling water, bottled water, sea water | Permalink
Posted by David
MY GRADE:
“…We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Oh, and free drink refills…”
– The Declaration of Independence (1st draft)
Remember the barbaric days of the 1970′s and 80′s when you’d order a Coke at a restaurant (or a Tab if you were really rockin’the 70′s) and if you asked for another Coke it was considered another Coke??? When the term “bottomless cup of coffee” was a rare and beautiful thing, a beacon in the ocean of unrefillable beverages. (I never liked the term “bottomless cup of coffee” — it always conjured the image of a 200 lb Denny’s waitress named Rhonda serving me coffee without pants.)
No more. Somewhere in the early to mid-90′s it became official: it is our right as a sovereign nation to unlimited drink refills at all major restaurant chains. Nowadays “soda” is like “fish” — the word implies both the singular and the plural. So keep ‘em coming! And while you’re at it, bring me another fish!
Now, I’m not certain whether this phenomenon is a good thing or a bad thing. After all, I don’t know if you’ve heard but some of these soft drinks have a bit of sugar in them. Like enough to frost the roof of a life-sized gingerbread house.
On the other hand, it’s FREE. And free is always good. Whether it be “Free Mandela” or my “Free to Be You and Me” or, most delightfully, free samples of Canadian Brie at Trader Joe’s. (And by the way, Canada, it’s not great. Sorry. “A” for effort though!)
It used to be a startling scientific fact that human beings are made up of 70% water. But since the emergence of free drink refills the percentages have changed. It now breaks down to something closer to this: Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | Food & Food-esque substances | Tagged: 1st draft of Declaration of Independence, free refills, free soda, our rights as americans | Permalink
Posted by David
MY GRADE: 
I haven’t been paying much attention lately — say, for the last 20 years — but I’ve just begun to notice that Gatorade has gotten completely out of control.
When I was 10 years old there were two flavors of Gatorade: Green and Orange. It was a huge deal when they added red to the Gatorade cannon. And by red I mean, it was called “red.” Red Gatorade. Because it was the color red and tasted very red. They weren’t getting too fancy with the name branding yet.
Fast forward to 2009: There are now 67,000 flavors of Gatorade (13,000 of them being subtle variations on Purplish/Blue.)
Tiger Woods has his own flavor of Gatorade: Gatorade Tiger, which was recently renamed Gatorade Focus (so as not to upset the 3 vegans who thought it was made from actual tiger). There’s another new flavor called Gatorade: Shine On (which sounds suspiciously like a feminine hygiene product). There is something called Gatorade: No Excuses (which was also a name brand of jeans in the 90′s: “Gatorade with just a hint of denim?”)
Oh, and when I say “flavor” keep in mind I’m using the term very loosely: Shine On. Quiet Storm. Mountain Frost. Are these drink flavors or weather forecasts? Read the rest of this entry »
Leave a Comment » | Food & Food-esque substances | Tagged: coke-blak, tiger woods gatorade drink, too many gatorade flavors | Permalink
Posted by David
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Our Annoying World
