Our Annoying World

would you like coffee with your coffee?

GRADE: 

I get it. Sometimes people can be talked into buying things impulsively. But when did Starbucks Baristas become used car salesmen?

“Would you like a scone with your latte?”

“No. If I had wanted a scone with my latte I probably would have said ‘I’d like a latte and a scone’ as opposed to the scone-less request I made just seconds ago.”

True story: I once ordered a medium soda at a fast food restaurant. The counter lady’s reply was “Would you like a large?”

As if she expected me to reply “Yes. As a matter o’ fact I would like a large. I thought ‘medium’ was your largest size. Have you always had this size of ‘large’ you speak of — or is this something your people back at the Del Taco laboratories have been developing?”

Upselling is one thing. But sometimes it feels more like “not listening to a word I’m saying.”

Next time a waitress makes her initial approach to me and five seconds later goes right into her hard sell, asking if I want to start off with a plate of sliders and a two gallon vat of guacamole I’m swear I’m going to order a small iced tea and stay in her booth for seven hours.

See servers and servettes (or whatever you’re called these days: coffee specialists, meal negotiators, dining influx engineers) having a menu in front of me, or up on a board behind the counter, gives me a pretty good sense of the options.  I have rarely been talked into buying a scone because someone suggests I should have one.

And by the way, what is it with all the scone selling?  People are always asking me if I “want a scone with that.” Do I fall into some sort of scone profiling niche?   If so, Starbucks, you should know this about me:  I’ve eaten three scones in my entire life and each time I pro-actively asked for a scone.  I was never beaten into submission with suggestive sconing.  It’s just not how I roll. Or “scone,” as the case may be. <groan>  (Really?  That’s the joke you’re ending your blog entry with, Dave?)

"Would you like a scone with your Prius?"